How to publish a(nother) STOC paper

At a "secret session" yesterday afternoon, Laszlo Babai disclosed the secret to getting a paper accepted to STOC. Let n be the number of authors and let p_k be the number of previous STOC/FOCS papers by the kth author.

1. Satisfy the inequality Σ_k p_k^1/4 > 2^4/7 n^6/7.
2. Make sure p_k > 0 for all k. (No novice co-authors.)
3. Have at least one co-author who has been a STOC/FOCS co-author with at least one member of the program committee.
4. Submit late (after the median submission).
5. Have an even number of authors.

The overall acceptance rate at STOC 2004 was 25.8% (70 acceptances out of 271 submissions). Each of these five conditions was positively correlated with the probability of acceptance. Papers that followed all five criteria had a 76.9% acceptance probability (10 out of 13)!