The SODA business meeting drinking game

• Take a drink the first time each of the following events occurs (struck out if the event actually occurred):
  • Anyone claps.
  • Anyone complains about parallel sessions.
  • Anyone suggests removing the short paper category from the call for papers. after a thorough statistical skewering by Adam Buchsbaum, the PC chair
  • Anyone complains that conference papers aren't supposed to be archival.
  • Anyone suggests removing the 10-page limit.
  • Anyone suggests imposing a one- or two-page limit.
  • Anyone complains about registration fees.
  • Anyone complains about the cost of the conference hotel.
  • Anyone complains about the coffee breaks or continental breakfasts.
  • Anyone complains about SIAM paying full-time staff to man the registration desk.
  • Anyone questions the need to pay SIAM for publicity.
  • Anyone complains about SODA overlapping the beginning of the classes.
  • Anyone uses the phrase "discrete mathematics community" or something equivalent.
  • Anyone in the audience uses the phrase "computational geometry".
  • Anyone asks if we can vote for more than one option.
  • Any vote is repeated beause of voter confusion.
  • Any vote ends in a tie (two drinks).
  • David Johnson says "Baltimore", "Washington"/"DC", or "San Francisco" (one drink each) (retired from next year's game)
  • Anyone complains about low attendance in non-standard locations (ie, not San Francisco or Baltimore/Washigton) (retired from next year's game: 301 people attended this year, which is the second highest after New Orleans last year)
  • Anyone mentions New Orleans (two drinks if this happens immediately after the previous event). (two drinks: David Johnson said it first)
  • Anyone makes a joke involving the phrase "train wreck".

• Items that should have been on this list:
  • Anyone suggests 15-minute talks
    
  • Anyone suggests adding a fourth day
    
  • Anyone suggests adding a fourth parallel session
    
  • Anyone suggests a poster session
    
  • Anyone accuses David Johnson of attempting the manipulate a vote
    

• Take one drink for each slide of silly statistics displayed by the program committee chair. 3 drinks, plus bonus drink for real statistics

• During the discussion of where to hold future SODAs, start the location bonus round: Drink once for each serious but non-standard proposal (eg, Los Angeles, Miami). 5 drinks (New Orleans, Portland OR, Los Angeles, San Diego, Santa Barbara) Drink twice for each facetious location proposal (eg, Havana, Sydney). 8 drinks (San Juan PR, Monterrey Mexico, Denver) If it is unclear whether a proposal is facetious (eg, Denver, Boston), finish your beer. Monterrey got the most votes.

• If anyone asks why we have paper proceedings at all, start the proceedings bonus round: Drink each time any of the following words are used: copyright, ArXiv, ISBN, web, PDF, CD-ROM, library, tenure, promotion, ship/shipping, heavy. This bonus round may have occcurred during David Karger's discussion of whether to print proceedings before the conference to reduce lead time, but by then the meeting was well into its second hour and everyone was tired and hungry.
  

Final tally: 23 drinks + 1 chug, or about 4 pints

Comments

Wow. Sounds like you play to lose