I am a professor of computer science at a large midwestern university whose abbreviation sounds like "ew yuck" if you read it out loud. My area of expertise is computational geometry and topology. I exist.
Ernie Pan was born on April 1, 1988 in Houston, Texas. He makes 3D pancakes. His annual salary and his zipcode are both 70707. He has a dog named Bo-bo. His email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. He doesn't exist.
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