I am a full professor and (for a few more weeks) an associate department head in the computer science department at a large midwestern university whose abbreviation sounds like "ew yuck" if you read it out loud. I teach algorithms. I do research in computational geometry, computational topology, and graph algorithms. I exist.
Ernie Pan was born on April 1, 1988 in Houston, Texas. He makes 3D pancakes. His 1988 annual salary and his zipcode are both 70707. He has a dog named Bo-bo. His email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. He doesn't exist.
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